Upgrade Your Brain: Take Back Control from Within

When dealing with a toxic individual in the workplace, it often feels like they hold the power to derail your day with a single snarky comment or calculated slight. Your body’s fight-or-flight response kicks in, flooding you with cortisol and leaving you in survival mode. But what if I told you that you have more control over this reaction than you might think?

The key lies in understanding how your brain works and making the conscious choice to upgrade your mental habits. Thoughts trigger emotions, and repeated thoughts create well-worn neural pathways. Over time, these pathways become unconscious reactions - patterns that don’t serve you and only prolong your stress and frustration. However, by taking intentional steps, you can rewire your brain to respond differently.

The Science of Thought Patterns

Every time you think a thought, make a choice, engage in a behavior, or feel an emotion, neurons in your brain fire. When this happens repeatedly, those neurons wire together, creating automatic patterns. This is why you might find yourself reacting the same way to a toxic person’s antics, even when you don’t want to.

The good news? You can change these patterns. By consciously choosing new thoughts and behaviors, you can reprogram your brain to respond in ways that align with your goals and values. This isn’t just self-help fluff—it’s neuroscience.

A Practical Example

Imagine a toxic coworker makes a snide remark about your performance during a meeting. Your initial thought might be, “They’re right; maybe I’m not good enough.” This thought triggers a cascade of self-doubt, stress, and withdrawal, potentially affecting your performance and confidence.

Now, let’s approach this scenario with compassion and understanding. Instead of internalizing the comment, you think, “That’s their opinion, and it’s likely rooted in their own insecurities. I know my worth and the value I bring to this team.” This shift in perspective not only calms your emotional response but also allows you to respond with professionalism and confidence. Over time, practicing this kind of self-compassion rewires your brain to default to empowering responses, making you proud of how you handle challenges.

Changing Your Energy

As Dr. Joe Dispenza and other leaders in neuroscience have pointed out, the only way to change your life is to change your energy. That energy comes from your thoughts and emotions. When you’re stuck in survival mode, your energy is focused on fear, anger, and stress. But by shifting your focus to thoughts of growth, resilience, and empowerment, you’ll start to project a different kind of energy - one that prioritizes your mental health and professional growth over petty games.

Why You’re Different from the Toxic Person

Here’s an empowering thought: you’re dealing with this situation because you have the capacity to grow from it. Toxic individuals, especially those who display psychopathic traits, lack the neurological wiring for empathy and self-reflection. They don’t learn or grow from their experiences because their brains don’t allow them to.

You, on the other hand, have a fully functioning brain that enables you to learn, adapt, and rise above. You’re strong, intelligent, and hardworking. You don’t have time for the pathetic games of someone who thrives on tearing others down. Instead, you value skill and growth, and that’s exactly why you’re capable of transforming this challenge into an opportunity for personal and professional development.

How to Take Back Control

1. Become Aware of Your Triggers: Start noticing when and how toxic individuals trigger your stress response. Awareness is the first step to change.

2. Interrupt the Cycle: When you catch yourself falling into old patterns of reaction, pause. Take a deep breath, count to five, and remind yourself that you have the power to choose your response.

3. Replace Negative Thoughts: Every time a toxic person’s comment loops in your mind, replace it with a thought that empowers you. For example, “Their opinion has no bearing on my value or success.”

4. Practice Emotional Regulation: Techniques like mindfulness meditation, journaling, or even a short walk can help you process emotions and reset your mindset. (Refer to my other blog on how to identify which representational style you fall under - for optimal bounce-back)

5. Reinforce Positive Patterns: Consistently practice thoughts and behaviors that align with your goals. Over time, these will become your new default reactions.

Dominating the Challenge

Every encounter with a toxic individual is an opportunity to practice your mental resilience. Instead of letting their antics dictate your emotions, use these moments as a training ground to strengthen your control. The more you work on rewiring your brain, the less power they will have over you.

Remember, this is about you and your growth. The toxic person may never change, but you don’t have to let their limitations become your roadblocks. You’re capable of greatness, and by upgrading your brain, you’re ensuring that their actions don’t hold you back from achieving it.

Take back control. Choose growth over survival mode. And watch as your energy, confidence, and success soar. Partner with a Coach to accelerate your growth.