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Let me introduce myself.
I am Brittany Khandoker, a certified Life Coach with Canada Coach Academy and an ICF candidate.
My curiosity with toxic people began early in life, as I tried to understand why my own brother was so cold, manipulative, and verbally aggressive. It baffled me how we could share the same upbringing yet be so completely different. I watched him display sadistic behaviors, both within our family and in his other relationships. He had no qualms about scamming money from strangers or relatives and never seemed to lose any sleep over it. I quickly learned that he was only kind when he wanted something—his words were weapons, and he took pleasure in others' pain and insecurities. To protect my mental health and confidence, I kept my distance. Unlike many of his victims, I saw through his games and recognized his complete lack of empathy.
Later in my professional life, I noticed similar behavior in my direct manager, who shifted from kind to vicious. I knew I had to protect myself—my income, reputation, and mental well-being. Unlike my avoidance strategy with my brother, I had to find new ways to shield myself while still maintaining my livelihood. It was a traumatizing and anxiety-ridden experience, but I stayed focused on my work and relationships. Eventually, I was promoted, and my manager was terminated when I provided factual proof of their behavior and resigned on my terms.
Not all psychopaths are violent criminals, but studies show that both they and non-violent types share a lack of function in the ventromedial prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for empathy and guilt. Their brains are structurally and functionally different from ours. Without empathy as a foundation, they are unable to learn from their actions or develop a moral compass. In a way, they represent an older, unevolved version of humanity—what I refer to as "Humans 1.0"—whereas those with empathy, compassion, and guilt have evolved into "Humans 2.0."
Some argue that these psychopathic traits can be advantageous in upper management. With their charm, ease of manipulation, and ability to lie without remorse, they often excel in navigating office politics to their benefit and climb the ladder with zero remorse for damages done to ones in their path. They thrive in high-stakes or chaotic environments, which makes understanding how they operate your first step to regaining control.
My mission is to help others survive toxic workplaces while protecting their mental health. I provide support, tools, and strategies to help you reclaim control of your life and career.